I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
