after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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