i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
porn star boner night. come get it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
