i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
