Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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