Sry I called you an 8
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
