Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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