i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
