So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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