garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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