ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
