So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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