I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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