Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize