I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There r osticjed everywhere
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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