why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
