"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize