Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
