I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
