i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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