you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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