It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
