Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
