We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
