so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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