it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
