its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
