i can't believe i had my finger in that
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
