Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
