That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
tell me about the fingering
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