Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize