your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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