OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
