Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
