why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
