don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
