I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
