Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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