So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
