I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
