i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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