D3 body, D1 cock
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We need a shit load of segways right now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
