im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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