I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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