Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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