how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize