Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize