im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
