She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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