Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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