Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
