Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
