New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
