What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
