I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
