her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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