its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
