I'm jealous of your bromance
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
