I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
