I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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