It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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