This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
